I’m Infertile & Single – Help!
Infertility has increased dramatically in the past 60 years, with an estimated 3.5 million people in the United Kingdom attempting to conceive at some point during their reproductive life. And not all of them are currently in a relationship, raising the issue of how and when you should mention infertility while on the dating scene.
Here’s a summary of our dating infertility dos and don’ts.
DO
Get assistance and advice.
Even if you are single or not yet ready to try for a baby, it is always a smart idea to see your doctor or a fertility clinic if you have concerns about your fertility so you know exactly what the problem is, and what help is available and what choices you have. That way, you’ll be more certain in your mind about how you feel about your infertility and what else you’re prepared to do if becoming a parent is something you desire to achieve.
When is the best time to bring up the problem?
It can be tough to know when to disclose you’re struggling with infertility, but a male fertility test is a good conversation starter.
The dating scene is about having a good time as well as the potential of finding a life partner, so it’s not necessary to broadcast your infertility right away. In fact, being too upfront on a first date might be annoying. Instead, hold off on having the discussion until you believe there is a long-term relationship potential between you both. However, don’t wait too long because it is critical information that your new partner needs to know immediately.
Take your age into consideration.
It might be a little more difficult to openly state your fertility problems in your early 20s than it would be to tell someone you’ve started dating when you’re both in their late 30s and early 40s since expectations will differ. In some ways, you’re entitled to know. If you’re in your 30s, do you want a family? For many people, the desire to have children in their 30s is more important (and pressing) and it’s only fair to let a prospective partner know that they may not be able to have kids.
DON’T
Feel ashamed or blame yourself
Infertility can be caused by a variety of situations, and in up to one-quarter of cases, no known cause can be discovered, so it’s vital not to blame yourself when dating infertility. When bringing up the subject of infertility for the first time during a relationship, it’s critical to feel assured and at ease with the amount of information you wish to provide.
Expect That They’ll want the same as you.
If you’re in a relationship with someone and they’re the one, but your infertility makes it difficult for you to conceive, don’t ignore their reaction to what you’ve told them. They may be unwilling to go through IVF treatments or explore other options such as adoption. Children could be on another path in life, and they may not be on yours. Listen to what they have to say rather than attempting to persuade them differently or change their mind.